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Georg Himler


United States
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Well, it seems to me quite reasonable to say that even if we do not know who this guy loves, his behaviour suggests that he is a lot fonder of the other woman than of his own gf.

I think this is very mean. There is no need to tell him what kind of things make L&C feel loved, because it’s not like this guy does not know how to be loving: the other woman has gotten that from him, to be sure. This guy knows exactly what loving behaviour is, and his behaviour to L&C is NOT loving. When you are in love, you want to be with the other person, you respect the other person and treat her with love, you don’t ignore her messages or calls. This guy is not acting in a loving way with his gf. I would entirely disregard what he says in this case.

But I agree with Jeff that the main problem for L&C is not whether he loves another woman: it is whether he loves HER. That’s all that matters from L&C’s point of view.

I’d just say to L&C that she needs to stop worrying about the other woman, and simply ask herself if she is happy in this relationship. I know I wouldn’t.

I think this guy missed the clue bus when it comes to love — he’s the one who’s lost and confused. Or, on the more devious side, he’s getting some satisfaction for how he controls your relationship and your reaction to it and him. Either way, it ain’t love! Cut him loose if he’s not willing to treat you like you deserve. And, we all deserve to be loved in a way that makes us happy.

I think we need a little more info about this relationship. She states that he says he loves her but ignores her. Is this a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Do they go out on dates? Hold hands? Kiss? Sex?
She says he doesn’t answer her calls, emails and texts. Are there any other ways of communication going on.
I have told guy ‘friends’ that Iove them. But love in a committed relationship is completly different.

Perhaps, this fella is “mean”, designing sadistic malice! He ignores U by pretending to be busy AND tells you that. The boy’s good, but maybe mostly4not much. Call him on that by telling/explaining why such malice is hurtful and is not part of your plan 4U, 4knowing him. If U want to do a show-n-tell, arrange [rent-a-friend!] for him to see how the real ships of non-platonic LoveDoves work. You can fess up… after the fact, if it seems that He really was ignorant! If he refuses to be different-as-in-better, show him where his Curb is cut. Thenceforth, your own happiness is guaranteed!

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